It’s my own fault!

Self awareness post.

I have come to a realization at this point in my life that it is my own fault really that I have to do things- plan, execute, etc. This post is a self-awareness post and part of me just dealing. I am the same way at work as I am at home, I do it all and control it all, then I have moments of frustration when others around me don’t! What??? Yes, it is true, as crazy as that sounds.

To start, I am a bit of an enabler, I want everyone around me to be happy and successful. In my cycle of encouraging and supporting those around me, I get sucked into the cycle. I plan because I assume others don’t have time to because they are working on or doing. I execute, because I figure I made the plan because they didn’t have time so and how will they be able to execute. In the end I am unfairly harsh to those around me. They are enjoying something because I made it happen. Jeez, see it now?

At home, I am terrible at communicating what I want because I am concerned about others being happy with something. Those somethings are as simple as what we are going to have for a meal and as complex as a vacation with a lot of moving parts. On occasion if I do leave this up to a member of the household and it is not executed, I brush it off and do it myself, no accountability. Why would anyone in the house do anything when everything is done for them. At work, I am a much better communicator and I do hold those around me accountable, very close to the same level I hold myself accountable. Self awareness moment alert… I am my own worst critic so I quickly hold myself accountable for results or lack thereof, with others, I am more tolerant however have learned how to address quickly and not let it get to a boiling point.

Not sure why I don’t say what I want. Sometimes, I really want something or to do something and I don’t act. Then, I am not pleasant to be around because I am sulking at the fact, but no one even knows what I wanted to begin with. Amazing really. I have worked on this over the past few years and honestly have improved tremendously but clearly still have work to do.

Here’s to speaking up!

 

Related posts:

Mindful of one’s self

evolution of the funk i am in – my 4 to get me out

 

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “It’s my own fault!

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  1. GIRL! I do that too. I don’t speak up and then get a little sulky when I have to do something I don’t want to do. It’s such a great realization to think “I can speak up and my friends will still accept me”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I recently feel the same. I just watched an interview of Maria Menounos. She is currently recovering from brain tumor removal surgery. She said it’s important to listen to your body because all the work she took on was the reason she got this tumor in the first place. Also another important lesson from her interview is just because can do the work does not mean you can take it on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s definitely important to communicate clearly your expectations and what you want. You have to look after yourself and not just everyone else around you! You can’t give with an empty cup 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think so many women can relate to this. We tend to put others’ needs first and then we get resentful about it. Awareness is the first step to changing that!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Self-awareness is important! And yes, you must speak up and also delegate! I see that happening in my family, my mom is always the one planning and doing, and now that I have my own family I see myself doing the same. But it is important to speak up, and remember that your family loves you as much as you love them, and they also want to see you happy!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. We are so much alike! I can relate so much to this post. I’m trying to get better, but it’s a slow process. I have such a control issue in my house. But now that I’m son is almost 13, I have to try to let go of that a little and let him do his own thing. It’s really hard for this momma!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This totally speaks to me! I’m always so focused on trying to make everyone around me happy (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) that I definitely sometimes lack in communication, or overthink/plan things. I really need to take a step back sometimes to take a deep breath and think things through.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This totally speaks to me! I’m always so focused on trying to make everyone around me happy (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) that I definitely sometimes lack in communication, or overthink/plan things. I really need to take a step back sometimes to take a deep breath and think things through.

    Like

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